NOT RELATED: a random note? trying to convince myself...

To the Future Me:
to remind yourself that what really happened:
actually, its really my/your fault. i/you had 2 choices, and i/you chose to take the make-your-own, which ended taking up 4 days (not including the nights i/you stayed up)
please note that i am/you are not blaming anyone but yourself. if i/you had though and firmed up much earlier i/you wouldn't have this problem. again.
DO not blame anyone. its my/your problem, not anyone else's. others have more to do than me/you, so cannot complain. absolutely. i/you have so much lesser compared to everyone else, and i am/you are doing is the same thing as everyone else. who are you/am i to complain?!! huh?!!!! so watch what you say...yes, you/i want to do quality work everytime i/you do an assig, but understand that time restraint means quality restraint. so, no qualms anout it, ok?
[and i still dunno how to reply! arghh!! D: so...bad? i mean, to leaving ppl de good intentions hanging...and i'm scared to go, cause, what if everything have to change? doing that twice is enough already..i don't knnow if i have any more time...both physically and doing wise. i can feel myself changing, literally. i'm lost, but i don't know what to do. right now, its fight to live another day. reminds me of The Patriot, starring Mel Gibson..(i know, totally random :D)
plus, i don't know if can finish what is needed to bring for consultation in time...phobia of teachers D: is there a proper scientific name for it? like acarophoia(fear of insects) and agliophobia(fear of pain) and necrophobia(fear of the dead and dead things) and claustrophobia(fear of enclosed spaces)]

NOTE ON HOW TO IMPROVE SELF(though it may still end up the same, still.):
- imperative that firmed up idea, concept, and theme/style is done in 1-1.5 weeks.
- imperative that planning is done within a day
- imperative that pre-execution (like making the damned doll) is done within 2 days. if not possible, do the back up option. please.


this may be used for future reference for reports, for the reflection part. hahaha.

notes to self: over-working/tiring will cause nausea and strong feelings of wanting to vomit. caution in spending nights up with coffee. watch it. you're/i'm not young anymore...D: it appears that this is a syndrom that only new mothers get, cos they are taking care of the baby. =_=...